Suggest everybody buys rounds in the pub, drink your fill, then hide in the bogs or go home when it’s your turn.
Arrive at a friend’s house looking hungry, just before they usually cook dinner to guilt-trip them into feeding you. Do this to all your friends in rotation.
Dye your milk blue with food colouring before you put it in the fridge, and keep an eye out for anyone eating green cornflakes.
Never go shopping if you are hungry, drunk. You will buy piles of food that you don’t need and forget the stuff you do need, so you’ll have to go shopping twice.
General budgeting
Work out what you need to spend for the week and take this money out as cash. Then stick to it, and don’t write any extra cheques or go to the cash point.
To keep your household bills down, only use the phone for cheap rate calls, and avoid using the tumble drier - unless it’s an emergency. Better still, use someone else’s phone and tumble drier.
Take advantage of a 16-25 Railcard for some serious savings on the cost of train journeys.
Travel off-peak when possible to further reduce ticket prices, and check out various routes to find the cheapest one to your destination.
Keep an eye on cheap travel deals at places such as STA Travel, and book well ahead to get the best deal.
Work
Get another job. Work behind a bar in the evenings - even if it’s only to stop yourself propping it up from the other side.
Find out if there are any other ways to make spare cash, such as completing online surveys, or doing a mystery shopping exercise.
Relationships
Dump your boyfriend/girlfriend just before Christmas/Valentine’s Day to save on unnecessary cards and gifts.
If you’ve got a date and can’t afford a haircut, go to the hairdressers on ‘model night’ and get it cut cheaply by a trainee. But don’t ask for anything too complicated.
If you’ve been dumped, get your own back by selling every gift you were given by your ex on auction sites such as eBay.
